Prometheus, You Screwed Me.

As you may or may not know, I believe the worst part about break-ups in any relationship isn't the actual break-up itself. The relationship actually takes on a life of its own after everything's over, depending on what kind of person you are. Paranoia, mescaline use, self-loathing, or Deathcab for a Cutie may occur, in no particular order. But this is also where your mind becomes fearfully acute and Skynet self-aware, ever sharpened by the sudden evacuation of that love source and the body's attempts to reconcile such coils.

Thus I've become my own creative director that seeds my own self-destruction or recovery. I have all these saved drafts of posts I want to share, but they're incomplete thoughts. I have tinder all around me, and the spark, but not the heart to test such fires.

However, as fate would have it two events happened. Certain muses have sparked this particular post (Grace Inspired! What a fitting title in this context) along with an encouraging e-mail came into my mailbox to compliment my very first entry in the blogsphere. I will defer no time, for delays have dangerous ends. I'm actually surprised that I haven't blogged about this story since it ties in so closely to poker and its shady dealings. Hopefully this monologue will transpire other thoughts along the way as I'm writing up the next entry. It better be good.

I've been wasting my life through Hung (excellent new series by HBO...again), Entourage, trying to tap into a $100+ fantasy football league (I know, it's a problem), and two point five seasons of Burn Notice. It's not everyday that a 39-year old woman makes an extremely good case of the hots; thank you, Gabrielle Anwar.

Lillian posted about people of excellence. It's not a foreign concept to me, but it made me realize the man I must become. God must be a priority back in my life. I used to preach that singledom was simply a time for self-improvement, so now I will sip my own Kool-Aid. I've picked up the 5K challenge. I'm buying vegetables and fruits on a semi-consistent basis (anyone who knows me would find this stunning).

I didn't see this paning out to the way it did, but I'll make the best of it. It's a life catalyst I can ill-afford to waste.


I promise.