Just to show how ridiculous the Halo 3 release was on Monday to the oh-so non-video-gamers (bad timing is what it is for you peeps), Microsoft poured a $10 million PR campaign across cookies, Mountain Dew, and if they could, your children's pillow sheets (which Halo’s game developer Bungie Studios has denied).
Sure it's over-hyped. But I am playing the co-op campaign right now and we've barely scratched the surface on Chapter 1. I am already in the freaking Serengeti sniping Brute aliens on Legendary difficulty and I need to save not just Earth (add the fate of humanity, etc.), but the galaxy itself because of the impending epic Death-Star equivalent Halos simultaneously about to explode across the solar systems. This is better than a good girlfriend spooning-session. This perhaps explains why I'm single right now.
Numbers aren't out yet, but Halo 3's 24-hour sales are expected to pillage the "Spider-Man 3" MOVIE, the summer blockbuster that grossed $151 million on its first day. Not a fair comparison on Halo's part (it's only a video game serving a less-broader audience), but makes it only an even more amazing feat. Microsoft stock went an extra 1.5 points just because of Halo 3. There were an estimated 25% of absences in schools on Tuesday as a result of Halo 3. MIT vandalized their beloved John P. Harvard statue to celebrate this pseudo-U.S. holiday. Gwen wasn't kidding about BANANAS.
Speaking of fruit, Natalie Imbruglia's video "Wrong Impression" is on repeat right now. For so many years, I've hummed this song not knowing who sang it because it’s insanely catchy…and makes absolutely no sense. So it wouldn't hurt.
But it's weird, I had a Reunited moment when I saw that it was THIS song. And hot damn. Natalie is smoking in this video in that healthy-skinny-wholesome way. I mean, seriously she looks so sexy just peeling that orange, I kid you not. They have her peel that bastard tangerine throughout the whole song.
Unfortunately kids, Natalie is a true testament of how much hotter (in most cases, disclaimer disclaimer) long hair is. If you see her on the UK air waves with "Glorious," she cropped it. UGH. I suppose it works out in the end; she's married now.
There is no experience unmatched of her staring into you from above, a human waterfall cascade of intimacy brush your face. You bask and roll in it, taking in her post-shower shampoo scent and natural pheromones. And for the kinky, there’s nothing like taking a nice clump of it, viciously yanking, and eliciting screams of orgasmic pain. There's something for everyone. You sick, sick man.
With that said, why would you ever cut your hair short anyways. Less maintenance/change-up?
Wow, what a self-revealing entry. Didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression, didn't want to leave you with my last confession…(yeahhhh) of love.
Yeahhhhh.
